


Let's Roast

by Jxeney



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Beel admitted that he masturbates, Bisexual Female Character, Chatting & Messaging, Comparing dicks, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Funny, Humor, MC is a bold MF, MC wants to smash, Multi, NSFW, Pranks, Roasts, Smut, Texting, and pervy, lol, mc is a whore, we STAN
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23641834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jxeney/pseuds/Jxeney
Summary: MC's ideas aren't the best. Her «Roast group chat» with the demon brothers escalated quickly.She shouldn't have called them virgins …
Comments: 114
Kudos: 477





	1. It has begun

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language lol. And I wrote this at 3am cause I couldn't sleep

**Pussy:** What’s going on here?

 **HentaiDude:** HAHAHAHA is that you, Satan?

 **Pussy:** …

 **HentaiDude:** ROFLOLOL

 **Emo Bitch:** Quit texting. I'm trying to sleep

 **MC:** Sorry, I was bored. So, I created this chat.

 **Pussy:** Why do I have this name? Explain.

 **MC** : You like cats, don’t you?

 **Pussy:** I mean yes, but …

 **Stupidmammon:** Mc! That’s hilarious! You chose these names?

 **MC** : I did

 **Stupidmammon:** Wait…

 **Stupidmammon:** WHY THAT OLD SHIT NAME AGAIN?!!

 **HentaiDude:** It fits perfectly

 **MC:** true

 **Karen:** I don’t understand this neither do I want to participate in this.

 **HentaiDude:** OMFG LUCIFER, IS IT YOU? MC!!!! I WANNA MARRY YOU!!

 **Mc:** I knew you'd understand.

 **HentaiDude:** YOU REALLY DID THAT

 **Pussy:** That’s a standard name for a human female, isn’t it?

 **Emo Bitch:** I’m not an emo bitch.

 **Buff Bitch:** Belphie?

 **Mc:** Looks like Beel agrees.

 **DckScker:** Whats the purpose of this group, Mc?

 **MC:** My human friends have no time rn. And I miss roasting them in chat.

 **Pussy:** You want us to “roast” each other?

 **MC:** Exactly

 **Buff Bitch:** I like roasting.

 **MC:** Beel baby, its not about food.

 **Buff Bitch:** :(

 **DckScker:** Can we focus this on Stupidmammon?

 **Stupidmammon:** Oi!

 **Karen:** This is so random and pointless. Even for you, MC.

 **HentaiDude:** Back to the Kitchen, Karen!

 **Karen:** I will ground you, Leviathan.

 **MC:** HAAHAHHAHAHA YAS

 **HentaiDude:** im literally WHEEZING

 **MC:** HE IS PERFECT

_(Lucifer is shook and confused)_

**Stupidmammon:** Why don’t you complain about your name, Levi?

 **HentaiDude:** We all know its true lol.

 **DckScker:** Same with mine <3

 **MC:** You so gay, Asmo, I love you

 **DckScker:** ily2 <3! But i'm not just gay ;) I go both ways

 **Buff Bitch:** I want to understand this Karen thing

 **Pussy:** I found an explanation on urban dictionary.

 **Karen:** And? Enlighten us.

 **Pussy:** Sent you both a link

 **Emo Bitch:** Alright, lets roast.

 **Stupidmammon:** Beel, you are really useless. Even more than Belphie! Eatin' is the only thing you do!

 **Buff Bitch:** That’s not true… I work out a lot, too, ok? Its not my fault that my stomach is a black hole.

 **Pussy:** Quiet, scumbag. You won't even admit that you are scared of Lucifer. And Levis right: You ARE a waste of space.

 **Stupidmammon:** STFU! GO READ A DICTIONARY OR SOMETHIN!

 **HentaiDude:** And a lowlife.

 **DckScker:** He has like 3 brain cells

 **Stupidmammon:** The GREAT Mammon won't accept insults like that

 **HentaiDude:** That’s lame.

 **MC:** Oh man, its funny watching a bunch of thousand-year-old virgins fight.

 **Pussy:** What?

 **Stupidmammon:** Virgin??

 **Buff Bitch:** What you mean?

 **HentaiDude:** HEY THAT’S NOT TRUE!

 **Stupidmammon:** MC, do you wanna say… that you ain't a virgin?

 **Pussy:** Looks like you never going to be “her first”

 **Karen:** I finished reading the article. That’s inacceptable. I’m nothing like this.

_(still offended af by his name)_

**HentaiDude:** …

 **Karen:** What are you talking about?

 **Stupidmammon:** IS IT TRUE, MC?

 **MC:** no comment.

 **DckScker:** Ofc it is. No surprise. Look what a wonderful creature she is! Everyone wants a piece of her <3 Can’t wait to taste her myself.

 **Karen:** That’s NOT going to happen.

 **Stupidmammon:** Oi!

 **Buff Bitch:** Taste her? Do you want to eat her?

 **DckScker:** Oh, I will <3

 **Buff Bitch:** But that’s not allowed.

 **Emo Bitch:** He's talking about another type of eating, Beel.

 **Pussy:** Even you should know that. I start to think that you actually are a virgin, Beel. I mean Levi is 1000%.

 **HentaiDude:** HEY! YOU KNOW NOTHING, PUSSY!

 **Pussy:** I don’t like that name.

 **HentaiDude:** Everyone probably ran away as soon as they saw your huge amount of boring books. Or you made them cry by screaming at them.

 **Pussy:** Who would touch an Otaku like you?

 **HentaiDude:** True tho :/

 **MC:** I would!

 **Pussy:** Anyway, why is Mammon so quiet?

 **Karen:** He probably is still shook over MC’s statement.

 **Emo Bitch:** Yeah, I hear him crying.

 **Stupidmammon:** THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE, my room is TOOOO far away!

_(He IS crying)_

**Buff Bitch:** He is not denying it.

 **DckScker:** MC, I’d love to know something. When was the last time you were intimate with someone?

 **MC:** I don’t have a problem telling you that. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to discuss that here.

 **DckScker:** Oh, no problem! I’ll come to your room any minute!

 **Karen:** Asmodeus.

 **Stupidmammon:** LUCIFER! You can’t let that happenin?! ASMO, SHOO, leave her alone!

 **Pussy:** Interesting turn of events.

 **Buff Bitch:** Can I join, MC? I’d like to know, too…

 **MC:** Ofc Beel baby, you're too cute.

 **Emo Bitch:** Whatever… I’ll go back to sleep.

 **Karen:** We all will. I don’t want you to oversleep tomorrow.

 **HentaiDude:** What a Karen move.

 **MC:** HAHAHHAHHA

 **Pussy:** True.

 **Karen:** Ok, whatever. Stay up as long as you want. I don’t care. Im off now.

 **Pussy:** But, Mc, Id like join too.

 **DckScker:** No way.

 **HentaiDude:** Why are u telling Asmo tho, MC?

 **DckScker:** You’re not the one feeling her lust when she’s touching herself <3

 **MC:** ASMO

 **DckScker:** I’m sorry, my Love

 **HentaiDude:** :0

 **Buff Bitch:** Touching herself?

 **Emo Bitch:** You doing that, MC?

 **Pussy:** I thought you wanted to sleep?

 **MC:** Is that a surprise? I’m human, after all. But enough of that.

 **Buff Bitch:** I don’t understand.

 **Pussy:** *sigh* Masturbating.

 **Buff Bitch:** Oh …

 **Pussy:** You really want to talk about that, MC?

 **Stupidmammon:** YEAH, MC, STOP! THEY SHOULDN'T KNOW

 **MC:** Its actually pretty fun. My human friends talk openly about stuff like that.

 **DckScker:** How wonderful!

 **MC:** So… demons do it, too, right? You guys?

 **Pussy:** …

 **HentaiDude:** …

 **Emo Bitch:** …

 **DckScker:** Ofc!

 **Buff Bitch:** …

 **Stupidmammon:** …

 **MC:** Oh c’mon!

 **Karen:** None of your business.

 **MC:** fr?

 **Buff Bitch:** sometimes …

 **Emo Bitch:** FR? When? In our room??

 **Pussy:** Probably in the kitchen.

 **MC:** WOW. Didn't expect that. I will reward you with a Kiss, Beel!

 **HentaiDude:** That was easy

 **Stupidmammon:** Wait, WHAT?! She gotta be kiddin'

 **Buff Bitch:** I knocked. Brought some snacks.

 **MC:** Just come inside.

 **Buff Bitch:** Oh, Asmo's already here

 **Stupidmammon:** WHAAATTT

 **Pussy:** Give up already

 **Stupidmammon:** MC?!

 **Stupidmammon:** MC?!! Don't ya DARE ignore me

 **Stupidmammon:** shES nOT aNsWeriNG!!


	2. Here we go again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got more for you! But be warned. It's prob even dumber than the first one XD

**Mammon:** Yo Mc… you were mentionin’ somethin’ earlier

 **MC:** What was it

**Mammon:** Some stuff bout ya virginity… just makin’ clear, it was a joke, right?

**Levi:** Here we go again

**Satan:** Can't you just accept it? Its none of your business anyway

**Mammon:** I AIN'T TALKING TO U TWO

**MC:** Ofc, Mammon. It was a joke. R u relieved?

**Mammon:** I mean… Why should I be relieved? The GREAT Mammon doesn’t care if his human is pure and shit.

**MC:** Ofc. Well if that’s the case… Asmo? Wanna take my pureness away from me, my little naughty demon?

**Asmo:** Oh my, you are getting me all excited! Cum to me after dinner, be prepared to stay all night long<3

**MC:** Yes, I can’t wait to feel you ins-

**Mammon:** NO NO NOOOOOO

**Mammon:** WTF NOO! NO SHIT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!!

**Lucifer:** Stop embarrassing yourself

**Mammon:** What ya mean?! You just read t-that, didn't you??

**Satan:** They fooled you, you idiot.

**Mammon:** And why would they do that, huh?

**Belphie:** He really is stupid

**Levi:** Stupidmammon …

**MC:** This was just a joke

**Asmo:** Was it?

**Mammon:** Yeah, was it?!

**Satan:** The part about her being a virgin? Definitely. The Asmo part? I'm not sure.

**MC:** Yo Satan, stop exposing me like that …

**Satan:** Sorry ;)

**Mammon:** Watcha saying

**Beel:** This is painful to read

**Levi:** I agree...

**Lucifer:** How about changing the subject?

…

…

…

**Levi:** OMG HAHHAHAHAHAAHAH i literally can’t stop LAUGHING

**Mammon:** This aint real, right?

**Lucifer:** … Who did this?

**Mammon:** Yo, how is that workin’? Some human stuff?

**MC:** Photoshop. Human use it to change their pictures.

**Satan:** Why tho?

**MC:** Most time to make them look prettier lol

**Asmo:** You certainly don’t need that <3

**Lucifer:** Do I have to repeat myself? WHO DID THIS?

**MC:** Its my fault. I showed them how photoshop works.

**Lucifer:** That’s not what I wanted to know.

**Mammon:** My human ain't a snitch

**Lucifer:** It was you, then. Of course.

**Mammon:** WHAAT? THAT AIN'T WHAT I WAS TRYIN' TO SAY-

**Satan:** It’s just a picture

**Belphie:** You are one to talk. You would have been outrageous

**Levi:** Yeah, just a picture...

**Belphie:** I can hear you screaming, Levi

**Levi:** I CAN'T HOLD IT BACK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

**Lucifer:** Someone will get punished

**MC:** I'm so sorry, Lucy sir, I will take full responsibility

**Levi:** I have to send this to Diavolo

**Lucifer:** If you cling to your life, you will do no such thing. And you MC, I expected more… no. In fact, I didn't expect anything from you.

**Belphie:** He gave up on you after you started fucking his brothers

**MC:** :(

**Beel:** It looks kinda pretty

**Asmo:** Yeah, Lucifer! It kinda fitts! You should change your hair! It looks the same for like 2000 years already

**Lucifer:** Flattery won't get you anywhere

**Satan:** I think he's more offended by the fact that this is a “Karen” Haircut

**Lucifer:** Sharp as ever, Satan.

**Belphie:** Not that Karen shit again. We all know its true.

**Lucifer:** Belphegor …

**MC:** How about a subject change?

**Asmo:** Let’s talk about hair!

**Beel:** Let's talk about food

**Mammon:** Why has Belphie grey streaks? I always wondered.

**MC:** he's an old lovely mf :)

**Levi:** LOOOL

**Beel:** It's always been that way

**Belphie:** It's cause all of you dumb whores were stressing me for thousands of years

**Beel:** :0

**Belphie:** You are an exception, Beel. And MC. And BTW Lucifer is the old geezer. His hair has gray tips

**MC:** ANOTHER SUBJECT

**Mammon:** Yeah, but was a pretty good roast, huh?

**MC:** Yeah, you guys slowly getting the hang of it.

**Beel:** Are you still missing your human friends? Or did we make up for them?

**Asmo:** We certainly did, right?

**MC:** You guys are great, but I can’t forget them easily.

**Satan:** btw, why did you include Lucifer in this “fun” chat? We all know he got no sense of humor

**MC:** I didn’t want him to feel left out. And he has a sense of humor!

**Belphie:** A little late for acting all nice

**Lucifer:** It's not my intension to disturb your pathetic little jokes. Besides, you’re not the funny guy either, satan

**Satan:** But I don’t think of myself as the fucking father of everyone

**Levi:** You radiate some serious parent energy

**Mammon:** Can't deny that one **…**

**Asmo:** A true daddy

**Lucifer:** I am superior to all of you. No matter how much it might irritates you.

**MC:** Ok, enough! I want to discuss something interesting. I bet you have some nice ideas, Asmo?

**Asmo:** Ofc! How about Top/Bottom?

**Beel:** What?

**MC:** oH, I LikE ThAT

**Asmo:** Try to guess, MC <3!

**Beel:** I don’t get it

MC: Yes, you do

**Beel:** … yes, I do

**MC:** Good boy

**Beel:** Will I get another kiss?

**Mammon:** Wait a sec

**Mammon:** YOU REALLY KISSED HIM?

**MC:** This girl AiN'T making EmpTy PrOmiSeS

**Mammon:** Where???

**Beel:** In her room

**Levi:** loool

**Mammon:** No! I mean… on the lips?

**MC:** yes

**Satan:** Let me guess: you don't care?

**Mammon:** Yeah, just wonderin’ why Beel would you touch a HUMAN by his own free will!

**Levi:** He's getting all tsundere again

**Belphie:** I'm so tired of this shit

**Satan:** Just admit, that you’re jealous. Maybe you’ll get a kiss too

**MC:** would U want a kiss, Satan?

**Satan:** I wouldn’t mind. But I don't think one kiss would satisfy me …

**Asmo:** Back to the topic! So, Mc?

**MC:** Gimme a second

**Levi:** Funny how Lucifer is quietly reading

**MC:** You Asmo r ofc a switch

**Asmo:** Correct! There are so may ways of playing! That thought alone makes me EXCITED!

**MC:** How excited 0.0?

**Asmo:** I'll show you later <3

**Levi:** NEXT

**MC:** Satan… prob a top. He angry fucks them all.

**Satan:** Excuse me?

**Levi:** LOOL yeah, I can see that. Is it true?

**Satan:** No Comment

**MC:** Lucifer obv a top. DOM. No confirmation needed. 

_Lucifer approves_

**MC:** And Mammon...

**Mammon:** Watch ya mouth, Human

**MC:** Bottom. Next.

**Levi:** Yeah lol. He’s acting like the biggest simp around you

**MC:** Kinda like it tho

**Mammon:** WHATCHA MEAN BOTTOM?

**Belphie:** Next!

**MC:** You, Belphie… Bottom as well. It’s not that you are submissive like Mammon. You probably just too lazy.

**Mammon:** THE great Mammon SUBMISSIVE?

**MC:** Beel… I’m really not sure. Switch, I think. I really wanna find out

**MC:** DON’T YA DARE IGNORE ME AGAIN

**Asmo:** Oh, Mc, you being all dirty is so ADORABLE

_Lucifer still reads quietly. He's wondering if MC's just making jokes or..._

**MC:** And Beel? Is it correct?

**Beel:** I'd rather not say.

**MC:** Prefer showing me?

**Beel:** Yeah, actually

**Satan:** Levi is last one.

**MC:** he probably doesn’t even know himself. Being a virgin and all. But def bottom.

**Levi:** HEY! WHY R U ROASTING ME, MC? Thought we were on the same TEAM?

**MC:** sorry babe …

**Levi:** ITS NOT EVEN TRUE.

MC: Ofc not babe

**Satan:** You sure about that?

**Levi:** R u implying… that no creature would ever want to get intimate with a yucky otaku like me?

**Satan:** That’s not what I was saying.

**Levi:** BUT YOU THOUGHT IT!

**Belphie:** His insecurities making me all tired again.

_MC thought I'd be a good idea to throw in some pickup lines_

**MC:** Is your name winter? Cause you're coming soon.

**All of them:** …

**Lucifer:** Didn’t we talk about this?

**MC:** What do you mean?

**Lucifer:** You being unbearably random

**Beel:** What does it even mean?

**Belphie:** I think that’s a … pickup line?

**Satan:** I think so, too. I get the coming part. But why winter? Its Summer in the human world.

**MC:** Satan… don’t tell me u haven’t read it??

**Levi:** C’mon Satan. One of the best human franchises ever OOF

**MC:** IKR!! The Show is SO GOOD

**Levi:** Except s8. 

**MC:** Sadly s8 never happened 

**Levi:** Yeah lol

**Mammon:** They both bein' all nerdy again.

**Beel:** I don’t get it.

**Levi:** a song OF ICE AND FIRE! GAME OF THRONES!

**MC:** Satan, you would love it.

**Satan:** I'll check it out soon. But why a pickup line?

**Belphie:** I have to admit. That really was random. And bad.

**Asmo** : Not the best, doll

**MC:** I thought it was funny… I'm so sorry.

**Mammon:** Stop being mean y'all, got it? It ain’t that bad, MC

**Satan:** Found this one on the internet (its really bad): If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

**Levi:** oH god

**Asmo:** hahahaha

**Beel:** You are what you eat.

_MC changed Satan to “Pussy”_

**Pussy:** I don’t mind it this time.

**MC:** LOOL you guys are getting bolder! I love it!

**Asmo:** Im amazed, MC! I tried to make them dirtier. But they are just prudes :(

**Mammon:** I ain't no prude!

**MC:** MORE CHEESY NSFW LINES, CMOM!

**Asmo:** I’d love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.

**MC:** I love that one XD

_Lucifer actually considered to throw one in. But he changed his mind._

**Beel:** Are you a shark? Because I’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow.

**MC:** CHRIST BEEL

**Beel:** Is this one funny? I can't tell. Got it from some website

**Belphie:** Its dirty AF

**Lucifer:** reading such words from you makes me quite uncomfortable

**Pussy:** Oi!

**Levi:** it's cringe as hell

**Beel:** Do you know your ABC’s? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.

_They all shook._

**Beel:** Roses or daises? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

**Beel:** Call me leaves, because you should be blowing me.

**LEVI:** BEEL STOP

**Asmo:** OH MY

**Beel:** There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.

_Levi left the chat_

_Mammon left the chat_

_Pussy left the chat_

_Belphie left the chat_

**Beel:** Oh I’m sorry, I went overboard. I just wanted to make MC happy.

**Asmo:** I knew you had it in you!

**Lucifer:** I think you made her speechless.

**Beel:** :(

**MC:** :0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Tell me if you want more.  
> I accept some requests :)


	3. Prank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satan is offended. MC and Asmo pranked Levi. Cruel.  
> Belphie is a lil piece of shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting worse XD Its different than last time  
> I literally wrote this at 4 am … yeah  
> NSFW BTW!! Hope y'all enjoy

**MC:** I wanna discuss something

 **MC:** hey

 **Belphie:** it’s 2 am, fuck off MC

 **MC:** U never sleep at night!

 **Belphie:** so what

 **Lucifer:** Do I have to remind you that tomorrow is a regular school day?

 **MC:** I don’t need sleep

 **Mammon:** Ya fell asleep like 3 times yesterday! I almost couldn't wake ya up

 **MC:** R u working, Luci?

 **Mammon:** yeah keep ignorin' me

 **Lucifer:** So you assume that all I ever do is work?

 **Satan:** That’s the truth, isn’t it?

 **MC:** Satan, you’re here! 

**Levi:** I just lost for the 119919x time! This boss is IMPOSSIBLE to beat

 **Lucifer:** MC, you wanted to talk about something. Is it urgent?

 **MC:** Not really, but I was bored

**Lucifer:**

**Levi:** Help me kill that boss

 **MC:** Later

 **Satan:** So, what is it?

 **MC:** Yk, I was thinking about Asmo

 **Mammon:** Why tf r ya thinkin’ bout Asmo at 2am?

 **Levi:** lmao

 **Satan:** MC really is the CEO of wasting our time

 **MC:** HIS DAMN HAIR. Is it blonde or brown?

 **Lucifer:** That’s your question?

 **MC:** Belphie and I had a heated discussion. Its light ashy brown, right?

 **Asmo:** I don’t like getting my beauty sleep interrupted. But I have to admit, I love to talk about my hair!

 **Belphie:** Beel, you here?

 **Beel:** I just ate a snack

 **MC:** You are the snaccc

 **Beel: *** blush*

 **Belphie:** Its dark blond, right?

 **MC:** NO IT’S NOT, that’s light brown!

 **Levi:** strawberry blonde

 **MC:** Bullshit

 **Beel:** Can someone make me a strawberry smoothie?

 **Mammon:** nah, it ain’t blonde. MC is right

 **Satan:** You obviously agree to endear yourself to MC. But I agree as well. Light brown. It looks a little reddish and blonde in the sunlight maybe.

 **MC:** THX U

 **Lucifer:** Wouldn’t it be interesting to hear what Asmo thinks?

 **Asmo:** Oh no, this is way too amusing! But we all can agree that it’s a stunning color, right?

 **Levi:** STRAWBERRY BLONDE

 **MC:** Luci, what do u think

 **Lucifer:** I prefer not to participate in this discussion

 **Mammon:** uhh boriiinnggg

 **Beel:** I go with blonde

 **MC:** Belphie u a lil shit, stop manipulating Beel

 **Levi:** Lil shit? Why did he deserve that?

_Should she mention what happened with Belphie? That time he texted her: "Send some nudes"_

_and she struggled to make some good pictures and after all that effort he was jus like "thx, gn"_

_Or sometimes it's : "You up? Come and suck my dick." That asshole._

**Belphie:** It’s a fact. And besides, you just want it to be brown, MC

 **Satan:** Why would she want that?

 **Belphie:** Tell him, MC

 **MC:** …

 **MC:** That’s not important

 **Satan:** Tell me

 **Belphie:** MC is not into blondes, In fact, she despises them. She told me herself.

 **Levi:** Ok, he is a little shit

 **Satan:** Is that true?

 **MC:** … maybe, but that’s not the point!

 **Belphie:** Poor Satan. You are just not her type.

 **Satan:** So you’re not into me? You don’t like my hair?

 **Beel:** :0

 **MC:** that’s not true, you are gorgeous! I have exceptions and you’re one of em!

 **Satan:** But you prefer dark hair. What about white? You detest it, I assume.

 **Mammon:** Oi, that’s a good question

 **Levi:** You are obsessed with Daenerys. You love white hair, MC

 **MC:** fuck… its true

 **Mammon:** ofc ya love white!

 **Satan:** So, you only dislike my hair color.

 **MC:** It’s not like that! But can’t you change that? I mean you guys are demons. And most of you look like… boys. Except Lucifer and Beel.

_So she thinks I look like a man? Lucifer approves again._

**Levi:** We are demons, not fuccing SIMS

 **Satan:** You want me to change my color?

 **MC:** No, that was just a question! I love your hair! And green is my fav color btw! Like your eyes!

 **Satan:** Whatever. I go to bed now. See you tomorrow.

 **Levi:** Damn he pissed

 **Lucifer:** That was quite amusing.

 **Belphie:** It was lol

 **Beel:** That was rude

 **MC:** COME HERE BELPHIE

 **Mammon:** wait, did ya just say im lookin’ like a boi?

 **Belphie:** Why do you have to insult them like that?

 **MC:** Levi, help me suffocate this BITCH

 **Levi:** Will you help me with the Boss then?

 **Belphie:** Don’t do it. Remember what she did to you? With Asmo?

 **Asmo:** My stomach hurts from laughing when I think about it

**Flashback**

MC burst dramatically in Asmos room. Her eyes were sparkling with excitement. “Holy fuck, Asmo! You’ll never guess what I just found out! I have the best idea ever!” The avatar of lust was almost done with painting his nails. It was always a pleasure to listen to Mc. That wonderful, idiotic girl. He tapped on the space next to him. “Let me be the judge of that. Sit and tell me, dear.” She nodded before slumping on the bed. “Maybe I was eavesdropping on Levi. And he was calling some weird Anime hotline. I did some research. He does this every Monday night.” Asmodeus raised one of his elegant brows. He was interested. “There’s some harmless rp going on. But what if… I redirect that call to my d.d.d?” He opened his mouth in surprise when he understood. “Oh my, you're onto something.”

**10 mins later …**

**Levi:** “Hello.”  
Asmo almost started laughing by hearing Levis insecure voice, but MC pinched his arm.

 **MC:** “Welcome to the Otaku-rp hotline. My name is Lysa. What can we do for you?” MC transformed her voice quite well.  
She sounded like those high-pitched anime girls.

 **Levi:** “It’s me, Levichan.”  
Her smile turned into a huge grin.

 **MC:** “Ah, ofc, Levichan! So nice to hear your voice again. The usual, I assume?”

 **Levi:** “Yeah, kinda. Ruri-chan in her child-form. She's a princess. And … I have to save you.”  
Asmo shook his head in disbelief. Was his brother really so pure?

 **MC:** “As you wish. But please confirm your age to proceed using our services.”

 **Levi:** “Age? Why? That was never necessary.”  
He sounded alarmed, but MC handled it well.

 **MC:** “Our conditions have slightly changed due to the requests of our clients. We added a range of adult offerings.”

 **Levi:** “I-I see.”  
His voice trembled. _So cute lol._ Asmo leaned closer to MC and let his hand rest on her shoulder.  
Her concentrated face triggered his desire to touch her.

 **Levi:** “Uhm … i'm a registered member. Just check my account.”

 **MC:** “Ah, yes. Good. Do you want to settle any other details?"   
She met Asmo's gaze and smiled.

 **Levi:** “No, just improvise as always."

 **MC:** "Very well. It's a very wise to let me lead. We can start. Are you ready?"  
How was she so good and convincing?

**Several minutes later…**

**Levi:** “Ruri-chan! I’m here to save you my dear princess! You look so fragile and tiny.”  
How could MC keep that straight face so easily? She was actually good in leading the story. Has she done this before?

 **MC:** “Oh Levichan!” She almost screamed. “My hero! I waited so long for you. Let me look at you. Wow… I never expected you to look so… manly.  
So handsome. You make me blush. I wanna feel save in your strong arms.”

 **Levi:** “Of course. Come to me, my little princess.”

 **MC:** “Finally. I’m in your arms, my brave Levichan. I wish I could be with you forever.” She sighed.

 **Levi:** “I can finally bring you home. We should get going.”  
Asmo tipped on MC's arm to get her attention and made some vulgar gestures with his hands and mouth.  
MC nodded and almost laughed, but she got a hold of herself. 

**MC:** “No… Levichan. You saved me. I have to express my gratitude.”

 **Levi:** "How do you want to do that?”

 **MC:** “How about a kiss? On the lips.”

 **Levi:** “I mean yeah… if you want that.”

 **MC:** “I look deeply in your eyes and go on my tippy toes."  
She turned her head slightly and looked at Asmo while she talked. Their faces were almost touching.  
He felt her hot breath on his red cheeks.

 **MC:** "Our lips touch and I feel a firework in my stomach. You feel so good.”  
She came closer to the avatar of lust. "Gotta be authentic", she whispered and kissed him.

 **Levi:** “Mmmhhhh”  
They separated after a while. Asmo covered his own mouth to hold back his laughter  
when he heard Levis whimpering. This was too good.

 **MC:** “Oh, I feel something is changing in my body! My real form is back! I hated looking like a child! Thank you so much!”

 **Levi:** “Oh Ruri! You look so…” He gulped.

 **MC:** “Do you like it? But my dress … its so small now. My breasts almost fall out. Look.”

 **Levi:** “Uhmm…”

 **MC:** “But never mind. Where were we? Oh yes, I have to thank you. Even more now! You freed me!"  
Asmo made those dirty gestures again.

 **MC: "** I drop to my knees in front of you.”

 **Levi:** “I'm … confused. What are you doing?”

 **MC:** “Oh, you know. Levichan deserves a big reward. My hand brushes slowly over your legs.”  
This has only began, but the demon of lust already felt getting excited.

 **Levi:** “No … no … stop.”

 **MC:** “You don’t want me to stop, do you?”

 **Levi:** “I don’t know …”

 **MC:** “You are craving my touch. Look at my red lips. You want to feel them, right? Here …”  
 _She sounds so sexy_ , Asmo thought.

 **Levi:** “This is wrong, Ruri …”

 **MC:** “But it feels so right. Do you really want to reject me? After all this? I just want to feel you … please."  
There was silence for a moment.

 **Levi:** “O-okay.”  
MC and Asmo both grinned.

 **MC: "** Sit on the bed, Levichan.”

 **Levi:** "Ok …"

 **MC:** “Loot at me. I slowly open your pants. My hand stroking over your underwear. Oh, wow! You’re so hard already.”  
 _HAHAHA MC, you are so naughty!!!!_

 **Levi:** “Y-yes. Only for you.”  
MC needed a moment to calm down. THIS WAS TOO MUCH. It's cringe, but cute. Asmo quietly giggling wasn't much of a help either.

 **MC:** “Slowly I take it out. OH MY! Your dick is so big. Im scared … it won’t fit.”

 **Levi:** *gulp*

 **MC:** “Can I lick it?”

 **Levi:** “Y-yes please”

 **MC:** “I open my mouth. My tongue swipes over your tip. You taste so delicious! I start taking your cock in my mouth… slowly”

 **Levi:** “Uhhh yes!”  
Asmo noticed that he gets aroused. Suddenly he grabs MC and pulls her onto his lap.  
It happened so suddenly that she squeaked in surprise. She turned her head to give Asmo a warning look, but the demon started kissing her neck.

 **Levi:** “Is… everything ok?”, Levi asked. Of course he had noticed. MC concentrated on her task, but Asmo mouth felt so good.

 **MC:** “Mmh, I'm just so excited! I try to take more. Push my head down!”

 **Levi:** “A-Are you sure?”

 **MC:** “Yes! I want to feel you in my throat!”  
Asmo behind her rested his head on her shoulder and started to make gagging sounds. His Fingers stroked over MC’s Thighs, who giggled quietly. 

**Levi:** “It feels… so good”  
More choking sounds. MC gasped for air.

 **MC:** “Now pls fuck me. I can't wait! I sit on your lap.”  
She moved on top of Asmo, rubbing and grinding down.

 **Levi:** “Wait… I wanna eat you out.”  
The words sent heat to her core. Asmo noticed. His fingers slipped under her skirt, started to stroke her clothed heat. She whined a little.

 **MC:** “Oh yes. Can I sit on your face?”

 **Levi:** “Please!”

 **MC:** "Rip my dress apart, Levichan. Im not wearing any underwear."

 **Levi:** *whimper*

 **MC:** “Oh god, your tongue feels amazing!”  
Asmo pushed MC's panties away. The skilled demon found her clit with ease.

 **MC:** “Don’t forget to touch yourself for me.” She moaned even louder.

 **Levi:** “I-Im on it!”  
Asmo rubbed her hard. She spread her legs more for him.

 **MC:** "Oh yes, yes, ahhhh"  
There was no need to fake it.

 **Levi:** “Like this??"

 **MC:** “Faster! Yes! Lick all my juices!”  
Asmo obeyed and increased the speed.

 **Levi:** “You taste so good …"

 **MC:** “Im so close!! AHHHHH!!! YES!! LEVICHAN!"  
That was maybe a bit too much. Asmo was confused, he felt so horny yet highly amused.

 **MC: "** I need more. I need your big cock. Fuck me. Please!”  
Asmo almost forgot to pleasure MC. This was hilarious. And hot. He never saw this side of his brother.

 **Levi:** “Oh… ok. Lay down.”

 **MC:** “Like this?”

 **Levi:** “Yeah, I wanna see your… big tits.”  
Asmo opened MC’s shirt with his free hand and grabbed her left boob. MC enjoyed the feeling. _Levi would be so jealous._

 **MC:** “Hurry, I want you inside me!”  
She was so wet already.

 **Levi:** “Oh, you're so tight!”  
Asmo pushed his fingers inside her. MC moaned louder. Levi wasn't exactly quiet either.

 **MC:** “Yeah, like this! Oh god… you feel so good! Your cock stretches me so godly!”  
MC turned around to face him, her legs wrapped around his waist. Quickly he lifted himself and pushed down his pants and underwear.  
She looked at him in surprise, but she didn't complain. Shortly after, Asmo slid in her.

 **Levi:** “I'm close!"  
MC rode the demon of lust with passion. The sound of clapping meat filled the room.

 **Levi:** “So real …"  
Suddenly Asmo had an idea. 

**Asmo:** “Don’t forget me!" He changed his voice, made it sound more feminine.  
MC stopped moving.

 **Levi:** “Whoah, whats happening?” He sounded confused and almost scared.  
MC starred at Asmo and formed wither her lips: “Tf you doing?”  
He shoved his finger in her mouth and let her suck them.

 **Asmo:** “I… was scared to come out… what are you two doing?”

 **Levi:** “Ehm… who are you? Will this cost extra?”

 **MC:** “Cost? What are you talking about?”

 **Levi:** “Never mind …"

 **Asmo:** “Don't you recognize me? Im Ruri-chan's best friend …”

 **Levi:** “You mean … Mysa-chan?”

 **Asmo:** “Exactly. I'm Mysa. So… what are you doing with my friend? She's screaming! You are not hurting her, are you?”

 **Levi:** “No, of course not. I love her!"

 **MC:** “Mysa … Levi is my hero. So he can fuck me.”  
 **Asmo:** “Oh I see… can I join? I want my pussy to be filled, too!”  
MC giggled and rolled her eyes.

 **MC:** “Please, let her join!"

 **Levi:** “Ehm o-of course. Should I … lick you?”

 **Asmo:** “Yes! Im already so wet! Please eat me. But don’t to stop fucking her!”  
MC continued her movements on Asmo.

 **MC:** “Yes! Oh yes! Fuck! Later I wanna lick her too! And eat all your juices out of her.”  
MC started moaning again. 

**Asmo:** “Where did you learn that?? Yes, push your tongue deeper in my tiny pussy!"  
They were… really loud.

_Meanwhile Beel in his room heard some weird noises._

_He frowns and exchanged glances with his twin, who was smirking._

**MC:** "YEEESSS!! Are you close, Levichan?"  
Both could hear the moaning and fapping sounds coming from the d.d.d.

 **Levi:** “Yes, milk me …"  
Asmo gripped MC's hips and pushed her down on him.

 **Asmo:** “This is AMAZING. Seeing you thrusting in MC is so hot!!”  
Both MC and Asmo were too distracted to notice the mistake.

 **Levi:** “What??”

 **MC:** “Don’t stop…”

 **Levi:** “Did you say… MC?”  
MC opened her eyes. _Oh no._

 **Asmo:** “Fuck me with your tail now!”

 **Levi:** “How can you know… omg …”  
Asmo finally realized. He met MC's gaze.

 **Levi:** "OMG!!!!"  
They could feel his anger and embarrassment.

 **MC:** “HAHAHAHAHAHHA”  
MC couldn’t hold herself back.

 **Asmo:** “IM DYING!!! HAAAHAHA! OH MY! LEVI!”

 **Levi:** “MC? ASMO? IS THAT YOU?”

 **MC:** “Come for us, Levi! HAHAHAHAHHA"

 **Asmo:** “Fill us both with your cum!”

 **Levi:** “I hat- AHHH"

 **MC:** “OmG, did u really just come?"

 **Asmo:** “OH FOR SURE!"

 **MC:** “OMG! HAHAHHA!"

 **Levi:** “N-NOO!!"

 **Levi:** “I HATE YOU BOTH SM!

 **MC:** *dying from laughter*

 **Asmo:** “AHAHAH we ARE JUST TOO GOOD, RIGHT? You did enjoy it, Levi?"

 **MC:** “ANSWER!"

 **Levi: "** I WILL KILL YOU!!”  
 _Actually, I want to die,_ Levi thought.

 **Levi:** "You hear me?! I WILL KILL YOU! And I will NEVER EVER talk to any of you again!”

 **Levi:** "STOP LAUGHING! PLS! DON'T TELL ANYONE!"

**Flashback end**

**Levi: …**

**Levi:** Don’t REMIND ME

_He actually needed 2 weeks until he could talk to them again._   
_He still feels embarrassed tho. He had tried so hard to forget it … and it had worked.  
Belphie you little shit._

**Asmo:** Oh please, it was just… perfect. And you don't even know what MC and I did …

 **Mammon:** Huh?

 **MC:** You still mad? That was weeks ago!

 **Lucifer:** Wait… what are you talking about?

 **Levi:** Nothing!!!

 **MC:** MiLk mE

 **Levi:** STFU!!!!

\------

[Drawing of my Mc](https://i82.servimg.com/u/f82/19/30/91/56/img_6710.jpg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope u liked it!  
> Let me know if you want more!  
> Requests/Ideas? Pls leave some comments :)


	4. Who was it??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ehm… yeah, they all mean mfs

**MC:** who tf is crying

 **MC:** It’s annoying af

 **Levi:** I think I’m hearing it too. But why r u so cold??

 **MC:** Cause I’m tired, Its 4 am!

 **Luci:** Hahahahaha

 **Levi:** O.o

 **Luci:** You of all people don’t get to say anything, MC

_Actual Flashback_

**_MC:_ ** _lol it’s so late, we have to get up in 2 hours_

 **_MC:_ ** _Ay, Asmo_

 **_MC:_ ** _Whore_

 **_MC:_ ** _Bitch_

 **_MC:_ ** _Sassmo_

 **_MC:_ ** _ASSmo_

 **_MC:_ ** _ASS-MOE-D-HOE_

 **_Beel:_ ** _Orgasmo_

 **_MC:_ ** _LMAO_

_Flashback end_

**MC:** …

 **MC:** fair enough

 **Belphie:** It’s probably Mammon. He cries a lot.

 **Satan:** Or Asmo

 **Beel:** Should I go look?

 **Asmo:** It’s not me

 **Mammon:** Its ok! I’m fine! I wasn’t cryin’, I was mad n screamin’

 **Satan:** You were watching a sad movie, weren’t you?

 **Mammon:** Bullshit! No way the great Mammon would be cryin’ over somethin’ like that!

 **Asmo:** Maybe some witches roasted him on the phone

 **Mammon:** I’m tellin’ ya: I was just mad! Just leave it at that.

 **Levi:** lmao

 **Luci:** Whatever, lower your voice.

_MC was too excited and pissed to go back to sleep. She needed to roast someone. Oh yes, this is going to be hilarious!_

**MC:** Stop lying! I know what I heard. You’re just a denying, whiny ass bitch. Just stfu for once!

 **Levi:** Holy shit

 **MC:** I never saw your brothers cry (except Asmo). You sure, you’re a real demon?

 **Satan:** Damn, I think she’s mad

 **Luci:** How very observant of you

 **Mammon:** R ya talkin’ to me, MC???

 **MC:** Slow on the uptake, too. Your dumbness is getting on my nerves!! Ofc I’m talking to u!

 **Mammon:** What are ya sayin’? No need to be mean like that! I’m just open ‘bout ma feelings! And Asmo’s cryin’ way more!

 **Asmo:** Debatable. And unlike you, I still look beautiful in tears.

 **Mammon:** Lucifer just needs to raise his voice a lil and u be there sobbin’!

 **MC:** This isn’t about Asmo. Stop being such a coward!

 **Mammon:** Ion get it. What did I do? Didn’t wanna upset ya, MC …

 **MC:** You are a scummy piece of shit. Just fuck off, I’m so sick of u.

 **Mammon:** Why is everybody so mean to me? *sob* I thought… you were different

_Meanwhile in the 34 chat:_

_Levi: Jesus Christ. Is she on her human thing?_

_Satan: What do you mean?_

_Levi: Yk… when blood comes out down there_

_Satan: Period?_

_Levi: Exactly_

_Satan: Idk, I didn’t feel the necessity to study her menstrual cycle_

**Beel:** Why are you so rude to him?

 **Levi** : I think I hear him crying again.

 **MC:** Shit, sorry Mammon. Don’t cry! I’m just joking, ok?! I do this often at home.

 **Satan:** Wait, was this one of your roasts?

 **MC:** Exactly! I mean, you are getting on my nerves from time to time. But this was just a joke.

 **Mammon:** fr? *Sob*

 **MC:** Yes, forgive me. I forgot how sensitive you are

 **Luci:** That’s obviously a lie

 **Belphie:** Are you sure lol

 **MC:** Ok, I was a little mad. Haven’t gotten any sleep last night, either

 **Luci:** How come? It’s especially important for humans to get enough sleep

 **MC:** Oh, I didn’t tell y’all what happened

 **Levi:** huh?

 **Luci:** Inform us, then

 **MC:** One of you took the liberty to visit me in my room last night.

 **Levi:** What happened?

 **MC:** What you think? I almost got fucked when I was asleep

 **Asmo:** What??

 **Luci:** Tell me the name immediately.

 **MC:** It’s not like that! It wasn’t our first time. We ended up having real nice sex, so everything’s fine. But it was exhausting, that’s wat I was trying to say.

 **Luci:** I’m relieved. But why are you telling me this?

 **Levi:** Oh, I know. She wants us to find out who it was

 **Levi:** I hear the sobbing again… louder

 **Asmo:** This unsmooth action screams for Belphie

_Another flashback_

**_Belphie:_ ** _Hey. I’m horny. Come suck my dick_

 **_Levi:_ ** _tf_

 ** _Satan:_** _Who exactly are you referring to?_

 **_Belphie:_ ** _Nm. Wrong chat_

_Flashback end_

**Belphie:** Me? Tf I’m too lazy for shit like that. I bet it was your horny ass, Asmo

 **Asmo:** I don’t have to sneak in like a shabby criminal

 **Mammon:** Ain’t me :(

 **Mammon:** Could be Beel

 **Beel:** Me? I would never disrespect her like that

 **Asmo:** Beel’s way too innocent

 **Mammon:** Y’all hear me out! He was all hungry n' shit looking for a snacc, smelled MC’s human fragrance and lost control. Bein’ a glutton n’ all he sneaked in and started eatin-

 **Belphie:** Enough. He would never do that

 **Satan:** That sounds almost convincing, I’m impressed

 **Beel:** I go with Asmo.

 **Asmo:** I’m offended

 **Satan:** We can only exclude Levi.

 **Satan:** Being a virgin and all

 **Levi:** WHY does everyone think I am a virgin?!!

 **MC:** obvious reasons …

 **Mammon:** Ya didn’t deny it

 **Levi:** I’M-

 **Levi:** I hate every single one of you

 **Luci:** Don’t forget to exclude me, too

 **Satan:** Look at him acting all sincere and shit. You won’t fool me.

 **Luci:** Don’t be ridiculous

 **Satan:** I bet you used your lame “punishment” excuse

 **Luci:** How dare you. I would never violate MC’s privacy like this

 **Satan:** You certainly would violate her in other ways …

 **Luci:** I’ve had enough.

 **Satan:** Oh no, this has only just begun

 **Beel:** Hey, don’t fight. We are a family

 **Satan:** But I want to fight

 **Luci:** You are no match for me. Are you too dense to understand?

 **Satan:** Stfu

 **Luci:** I will get out of bed

 **Satan:** Boo-hoo, I’m so scared

 **MC:** Christ

 **Levi:** It was neither of them. Belphie! It was him

 **Belphie:** Already told you it wasn’t me. Maybe Mammon was sick of waiting.

 **Mammon:** If it were the great mammon, ya’d know

 **MC:** Your lies are sooo amusing lolol

 **Asmo:** Oh, I know who it was

 **Beel:** So, you admit it? Apologize to MC immediately.

 **Asmo:** Gosh, NO! But I'm the avatar of lust after all. I know these things <3

 **Mammon:** Whatcha waitin’ fo? Tell us

 **Asmo:** No way

 **Luci:** I remember seeing Belphie laying on top of MC. Using her breasts as a pillow.

 **Belphie:** So what

 **MC:** *giggle*

 **Beel:** Were they… as soft as they look? *blush*

 **Belphie:** Better

 **Asmo:** Uhh so JEALOUS!

 **Luci:** Wheres your alibi, Satan?

 **Satan:** Oh please, I never had an interest in her in that way. You, on the other hand… 

**Mammon:** Can’t ya just tell us, MC? Lucifers and Satans dick contest is annoying af

 **Levi:** LOLOL so true

 **Luci:** I don’t remember talking about the sizes of our male genitals

 **Belphie:** I don’t think you had to point the male out

 **Levi:** HAHAHAHAH

 **Mammon:** LUCIFER WITH A PUSSY IS NOW IN MA HEAD!! THX FOR NOTHIN'

 **Beel:** what?

 **MC:** And he gave birth, too

 **Mammon:** A full ass female

 **Luci:** Mammon, you know what I will do.

 **Levi:** Well, a *wheeze* true *dying of laughter* **KAREN**

 **Mammon:** I'M SO SORRY, SIR! Ya masculinity is unmatched n' undeniable!

 **Luci:** Leviathan, do you wish for the same treatment as Mammon?

 **Levi:** N-no

 **MC:** Can we continue talking about dicks *gulp*

 **Asmo:** I’d like that!

 **Mammon:** Fag-

 **Asmo:** What was that?

 **Mammon:** Nothin’

 **MC:** Beel is top tier. Without a doubt. I bet it's HUGE

 **Beel:** *hard blush*

 **MC:** Diavolo maybe second?

 **Satan:** Oh, Diavolo. Why don’t you tell us about it, Luci?

 **Levi:** DAAAMNNNN

 **Belphie:** I think I heard something

 **Beel:** Did he really get up?

 **Asmo:** We are talking about Lucifer after all

 **Beel:** I hope Satan won't die :(

_Later (Satan chat)_

**MC:** Still alive?

 **Satan:** What do you think?

 **MC:** <3 <3

 **Satan:** And?

 **MC:** and what?

 **Satan:** Can I come over again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe, Satan this sly mf. Did u expect it?  
> Ik this was weird and messy AF! But I hope u enjoyed anyway! Did u  
> If u have any ideas/requests --> let me know! See ya <3

**Author's Note:**

> Leave some comments :)


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